From the Outside

Everything looks great from the outside
It's amazing what laughter
and smiles can hide

Everything looks great from the outside
It's amazing all the details
you can keep inside

Everything looks great from the outside
It's amazing how mangled truth
never sounds like you've lied

Everything looks great from the outside
It's amazing how your heart
keeps beating even though it's died

Everything looks great from the outside
It's amazing how deftly
the illusion is applied

Everything looks great from the outside
It's amazing what smiles
and laughter can hide

Almost Forgot

Almost forgot to write today
 got lost in a book what can I say
 My thoughts ran off on this lovely day
lost track of time and got carried away

Luckily I have tonight
to take a moment to set things right
with words that I did mean to write

Yes, I almost forgot but I'm glad I did not
So here's just a few words I can find
to appreciate this world of mine

Memories Unbidden

Am I thinking of you
or is it you thinking of me
Why is it your name
slips in my head so easily

Cliche as ancient history
our time together is to me
yet memories unbidden
refuse to remain hidden

Am I unhappy in my current state?
No that's not it.

Am I longing for times long ago
Again that answer's a resounding no.

Am I uncertain of what's to come?
No one can know how life will go.

Self reflection in every way
and still no answer can I say
to understand this strange situation
inside my crazy brain

Am I thinking of you
or is it you thinking of me
Cliche as ancient history
yet your echoes won't let me be

Liberation and Compromise

You won't find rules already set in stone
In this reality you must create your own
Surprises on the horizon
Adventures at your door
Life is never sedentary
for those who wish to explore.

Sometimes
 it's about compromise
Others liberation
Figuring out
which one
at what moment
takes time
and
dedication.

You won't find rules already set in stone
In this reality you must create your own
Surprises on the horizon
Adventures at your door
Life is never sedentary
for those who look for more.

Not what but Who

What's keeping me here?
Is it lack of talent
or could it be too much?
Is it laziness or
trying too hard?
Is it self pity or
self doubt?
Is it someone else or
just me?
What's keeping me here?

The ability to change your destination
isn't left to anyone but you.
The ability to take the first step
towards the right direction
isn't left to anyone but you.
The ability to crash and burn and
then begin again
isn't left to anyone but you.

What's keeping me here?
It's not a what but who.
Who's keeping me here?
The answer to the question
is you.

This

This is not what I wanted.

This isn't the way it should be.

This is not what I planned.

This isn't  unfolding properly.

This isn't going to last.

This won't be forever.

This isn't just a phase.

This isn't just one of those things.

This won't last forever.

This too shall pass.

Completely Connected

More information
less interaction
with that right in front of you.

Sat down for a moment
looked up after a minute
I seem to have lost more
than an hour or two.

Interrupted service
Lost connection
prompts questions of
Now what do I do?

Do you make life simpler
or more complicated?
Are we getting smarter or
merely sedated?

Laptop, tablet
desktop, phone
Completely connected
but still quite alone.

This isn't a Test

How do you expect

such grandiosity

while sitting firm on

your hypocrisy?

In this life we seem

to expect more and more

but too often too many

do less and less.

Are we really using to our advantage

our brightest and best?

Last I recall

life is for the living this isn't a test.

What Happened

I don't know what happened
that can't possibly be the time
I remember waking up
but now the sun's met the horizon line.

Drifting in and out of hours
thinking thoughts not quite concrete
Some how today decided that
it must escape from me

Gotta get it together
Gotta find my focal point
Summer days won't last forever
Soon it'll be time for stormy weather

My many moods are becoming one
My mental state's not quite undone
Keep the demons on the run
Time for reality, won't that be fun

Choices

My body feels better
my brain feels worse
true happiness
is its own
kind of curse

By brain feels better
my body feels worse
If i figure it out
Will I be the first?

Choices made
The plot's been played
What happens tomorrow
starts with today.

Que Sera Sera
Is that the final
Ha Ha?

Today I begin

Today I begin again.
Time to catch up
with an old time friend.

This person had plans.
This person had vision.
This person had
creativity and dreams.

She's been neglected
for far too long.
With a bit of  attention
She can grow strong.

It's time to renew our
past rapport.
There's so much we two
have yet to explore.

Open my eyes.
Open my heart.
To recapture this friendship
I must do my part.

Today I begin again
Time to  catch up
with an old time friend.
Hello me,
How've you been?

What did I

What did I do yesterday?
Oh yeah I wiled the hours away;
Doing this and
Doing that,
Wandering here and there.
Lost in my own reality
Of time I didn't care.

What did I eat yesterday?
Something delicious
and possibly nutritious.
Something filling
and not unwilling to be
consumed.

What did I think yesterday?
I do believe it was of today.
What to eat and
What to do.
Of where to go
What time and Who.

Day in day out
It's what we do.
Wonder the hours
before they're through.

Stop wondering and just do
and maybe
it'll come to you.

Haiku's to remember

Longing to stay true
through my internal struggle
to my inner me


Rev my passions and
ignite my soul's desires
Live my true intent.

I forgot myself
Wandered too far from my path.
Time to retrace steps

Once upon a time I was a girl

The sky was blue the fields were green and I was eating ice cream.

The scent of roses filled the air and I was soaring with it

I saw a woman standing on a corner all alone

So I walked over to talk to her and maybe help her home

She looked at me and smiled; a memory in her eyes she said,

“Darling child, I am home. At least as close as I will get.”

I didn’t understand her but she didn’t seem to mind

She asked me to stay with her and help to ease her mind.

“Once upon a time I was a girl.” She said

“A long, long time ago. But now I’m just an old woman.

A woman who wants to know: From where does the rainbow shine?

Where do falling stars go? But most of all where does all the time go?

Where does it go?” I didn’t understand her questions At least I didn’t then.

But now, as I sit here alone in the park and watch the children play, somewhere in the recesses of my mind I hear the answers to her questions; At least I think I do.

Colors seem to come out of your mind. Rainbows are just thoughts all in line. Falling stars, I’ve seen them on the shore then just grains of sand and nothing more. I still wonder where all the time goes. I don’t think I’ll ever know. But once upon a time I was a girl.

 Yes, once upon a time I was a girl.

A WORLD BUILT ON A MERRY-GO-ROUND

A world built on a merry-go-round

Is what I’m living on.

Round-n-round-n-round it goes

Faster then slower then faster again.

I wish it would slow down a bit.

I wish it would so much.

Life goes by quite fast enough

Without this added touch.

More and More

More and more
I'm noticing
I don't know who
is on the screen

I can't name
that tune or
even the band

I use the language
of another land

More and More
my meals
have changed
eating healthier
is not so strange

Get more sleep
Drink more water
Staying up late's
not all that great.

Sleeping in
enjoying the day
languidly
wiling the
hours away

Is it comfy?
Is it warm?
Will it weather
a coming storm?
Questions for clothing
has definitely changed.
Comfy not cutesy is
not a shame.

Seeing age from
the other side
Noticing
smile lines
and silver hairs
Understanding the value
of I don't care.

Famous, infamous
Friends and family
One by one all whom
you know will
eventually have to go.

I now grasp fully phrases
once said to me
The age you are
is not the age you'll be.

Look in the mirror and I see
a me not quite the me
I used to be

Birthday by birthday
I've come this far
Make a wish and
it still will be

More and more
is reality
no matter if
you kick and scream

Why not accept it
gracefully?
Continue to persist
quite passionately.
Appreciate the moments
of everyday
Don't let your true
essence fade away.

Time

Fleeting flashes

behind closed eyes.

Questionable memories

of times gone by.

How did I get here?

Where did you go?

What happens in the moment

seems to disappear in years.

I'm uncertain of my 

next tomorrow-

Where I will be?

What it will bring?

But as for today,

with feathers,

I play.

Always

Every time

on any day

Every time

in any way

Consistently

I see forever

Consistently

I seem to see

An unchanging sameness

Without exception

An everlasting continuity

Without end

An uninterrupted reality

Without equal

Every time

Consistently

Always

Dereliction of Duty

Words have been silent for far too long.
My will is weak but my desire strong.
How much longer before I obey my own siren song?

Out of practice
lost in time
no longer waiting
for the next rhyme
I must again
begin

Words have been silent for far too long.
My will is weak but my desire strong.
How much longer before I obey my own siren song?

Trying to forgive me
my dereliction of duty
My muse reminds me
of my creative beauty.

Words have been silent for far too long.
My will is weak but my desire strong.
How much longer before I obey my own siren song?
The words no longer silent must go on.

Back to The Grindstone

Oops I forgot

or was it

 I didn't remember

What's the difference anyhow

it's still not been done.

So much to do

so little time

constantly

repeating

the adage

in rhyme

Take off a day

and you just need another

cloning's not perfect

but I could sure use

an other

But I' m not two

I'm merely one

who could use a

helping hand

Instant insanity

I've got on command

but a clean up crew

would be something new

I am definitely 

someone who

would appreciate

more hands than two

And hours additional

to twenty-four

would perk up

my reality

forevermore

So much to do

so little time

constantly

repeating

the adage

in rhyme

So much to do

so little time

Guess it's back to

the grindstone

for this nose of mine